APN335343

A lamb slaughtered in celebration for the successful lobola negotiations between Nick Walker and Ncumisa Ngcaweni.

On the day of Nelson Mandela’s 90th birthday, Nicholas Walker, an Englishman from Cornwall, was in Nelson Mandela’s home town, Mthatha, Eastern Cape province, South Africa, negotiating “lobola”, the traditional bridal price for the woman he had set his heart on, Ncumisa Ngcaweni.

Nick got to know Ncumisa through church connections and moved from Pietermaritzburg in KwaZulu Natal province, South Africa, where he had been pursuing a PhD in Hydrology to Cape Town, Western Cape province, to pursue a relationship with Ncumisa.

The “lobola” custom, which is supposed to ensure the two families get to know one another, usually involves the groom traveling to the home of the bride-to-be’s parents with a delegation that will negotiate the bridal price on his behalf.

With no family in South Africa, Nick relied on friends from his church communities in Pietermaritzburg and Cape Town. An elder at his multicultural church in Gugulethu township in Cape Town, Tata (Father) Dominic Mabikwe was the chief negotiator. A fifth generation white South African, David Larsen, was his assistant, playing the role that would normally be carried out by the groom to be’s uncle.

Ncumisa’s uncles, older cousin and brother negotiated on her behalf and by mid day the deal was struck and Nick was accepted as “umkhwenyana” (son-in-law). That evening he got to sleep in the family home as he is now considered part of the family.